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Tackling Tempers : 4 Well-Formulated Thoughts About Tantrums

The next time your child hits the floor in a fit, zone out the screaming and crying for a moment to remind yourself of these things:

  1. Don’t Blame Yourself.

    Blame only creates shame and nothing productive or positive can come from shame.  Many children are born tempermentally “difficult”---I prefer to use the word spirited.  According to Stanley Turecki, “some childrenangry-kid-notext have inborn personality traits that make them harder to raise.”  So next time Junior hits the floor, try your new mantra, “this is not my fault”. Proceed from there.

  2. Empower Yourself.

    Although your child’s reactions might not be your fault he/she may be spirited which means how you parent counts.  Research indicates a parent’s ability to parent or not parent counts most when they have a spirited child.  In other words, good parenting can enhance and bring out the best in these children and poor parenting can make these traits worse. Read, talk to a professional or take a workshop.  Do what you can to learn about your child, and how you as a parent can develop behaviour strategies.  It might be time consuming but you will feel more empowered the next time your toddler lashes out.

  3. Don’t React, Respond.

    Responding requires effort, self-care and sacrifice.  When you parent from this grounded place you are able to discipline rather than react, show compassion and hold space so you and your child can get to understand why the tantrums arise. Remember, you are naturally going to react because you are emotionally invested in our children.  Our reaction says, “I am scared, frustrated, anxious, worried.  If you are acting like this now what are you going to do when you are 16.  I don’t know what to do!”  Parenting is hard work and can be exhausting.  It is your effort that counts.

  4. Take Advantage of Teachable Moments.

    You are not going to be able to reason with Junior while he is on the floor carrying on as though the world is coming to an end.  There are so many opportunities during the day to teach your child about his/her feelings and healthy ways to release anger and frustration.  Next time your child kicks a ball let him know that would be a good thing to do when he is feeling angry, put a poster on your fridge with feeling faces and ask your child how they are feeling or to simply label as many feeling faces as they can.  When you lose your temper let them know you feel angry and take a timeout yourself.  You cannot teach in a temper tantrum but you do have the rest of the day!

Happy Parenting! (You're doing great!)

Do you have more thoughts concerning your toddler's temper tantrums? Feel free to share/comment below!

 

 

25
Jul
Posted by Ishtar Gabriel in Parent, General ← Previous Post Next Post →

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